I feel as if I just gambled... and lost. I staked my old, really bad state of health in an abxi poker game; the winner's pot would have been increased health. And I lost.
Now my heart is messed up, I can't exert myself without cardio symptoms. And I know this about my body: it can't clear toxins without exercise.
I don't even know where to start, and the pain is so bad I can't sleep.
As Scarlett said, tomorrow is another day (or something like that); and I'll think of... something. But oh, tonight is dark and ... almost hopeless.
I know --- I hope --- you folks will understand. I wear my warrior's mask most of the time; it's better for those I love, and for me. It's just, sometimes, I need to weep.
Wini
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Wini (USA) CFSii/MCS/Fibro; Lyme, babesia; Cpnii; herpes; prim. VP & 2ndary porphyriaii; cardiac arrest Jan '08;
cholestyramine; acyclovir; clonazepam
Things can look very bleak
Things can look very bleak in the beginning, go only as fast as your body can tolerate. Cardio symptoms are not unheard of but are not usually permanent.
You can bare your sould here, Wini... we have all been were you are so we know what you are going through.
Michèle (UK) GFAi: Wheldon CAPi 1st May 2006. Daily Doxyi, Azi MWF, metroi pulse. Zoo keeper for Ella, RRMSi, At worse EDSSi 9, 3 months later 7 now 5.5 Wheldon CAP 16th March 2006
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Michèle (UK) GFAi: Wheldon CAPi 1st May 2006. Daily Doxyi, Azi MWF, metroi pulse. Zoo keeper for Ella, RRMSi, At worse EDSSi 9, 3 months later 7 now 6.5 Wheldon CAP 16th March 2006
Cardio symptoms. (The
The difference between what we do and what we are capable of doing would suffice to solve most of the world’s problems. Mohandas Gandhi
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The difference between what we do and what we are capable of doing would suffice to solve most of the world’s problems. Mohandas Gandhi
Wini, the stakes are high
Wini, the stakes are high but you have not lost, this is how it feels when you start to win. I know EXACTLY how you're feeling because when I first started the CAP my reactions were so dramatic and made me feel so ill that I thought I'd condemned myself to that state of health even worse than the one I'd just left.
Slow down and give your body time to recover, it might not seem like it now but you will get though this and forget about how awful it is.
When I was in bed almost all the time and couldn't exercise at all I found that a chi-machine helped
http://www.thechimachine.co.uk/use.htm
it gives you a massage and gets the lymph moving.
Elinor ..... from England on CAP, doxyi/roxi/tini for ME/CFSi/lyme borreliosis, positive Cpni and borrelia. Started Aug05, stopped Jan06, started again Sept 06.
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Elinor ..... from England on CAPi, doxyi/roxi/tini for ME/CFSi/lyme borreliosis, positive Cpni and borrelia. Started Aug05, stopped Jan06, started again Sept 06.
Wini, three years ago this
Rica PPMSi EDSSi 6.7 at beginning - now 2. Began CAPi Sept, 2004 with Rifampin 150 mg 2xd, Doxyi 100 mg 2xd, added regular pulses Jan 2005. Jan 2006 switched to Doxy, Azith, cont. flagyli total 48 pulses NC USA
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Rica PPMSi EDSSi 6.7 at beginning - now 2. Began CAPi Sept, 2004 with Rifampin 150 mg 2xd, Doxyi 100 mg 2xd, added regular pulses Jan 2005. Jan 2006 switched to Doxy, Azith, cont. flagyli total 55 pulses LDNi Rifampin 8/08 again NC USA
I sometimes think of
I sometimes think of scarlet o'hara too
!! Wasn't she scrabbling about in the dirt at the time, though with rude health as i remember ...
Meanwhile at times we can only weep and sleep or even weep and not sleep .... as our bodies try to heal .... i myself have had a difficult weekend but ironically i think these are hopefully signs of healing, .....
M.E./CFSi 20 years, intermittent. Wheldon Protocol - Started NACi and supplementsi Sept 2007. Doxyi and Roxy full dose by Dec '07.
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M.E./CFSi 20 years, intermittent. Wheldon Protocol - Started NACi and supplementsi Sept 2007. Doxyi and Roxy full dose by Dec '07. First Flagyli pulse January 2008.
Hey Wini, Hang in there. I
Hey Wini,
Hang in there. I find it really hard when I feel like s--t to remember that the junk left in my system after the death of the CPni is the culprit. Once I can get it, that after clearing all the dead remains of my enemy I will not only feel better but actually have taken one more little step toward being actually healthy, then I can get things back into perspective. I started pulse #6 on Saturday, and whoa boy--Sunday was a real wake up call--OMG I'm sick,, no maybe just tired,, or too cold-no hot,, can't think,, then--oh yeah I took the first dose of flagyli (2 tabs) yesterday
. I forgot to expect to feel like this truck hit me! Yep, that's it. Well, a nap is in order and any other kind thing I can think of to get through the next few days. Maybe a few dozen Charcoal tabs too just to help this stuff get cleared out.
Keeping sight of the goal to get rid of this critter helps me be more tolerant and allow myself some 'down' time. This site is great for adding levity and empathy in just the right doses. I'll be thinking and pulling for you.
DD
CAPi for CPn.
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DD
Dx:CFSi/ME;CPni;Post Polio: On CAPi since 3/05. Azith 500mg MWF, Doxyi 200mg bid, NACi 1200 mg bid, Calcium Pyruvate 6GM bid, flagyli pulses, B6, B12, Magnesium/Potasssium 2400/400 dly, Magnascent, Cholestyramine, D3 2GM dly, .
I don't excerise and
I don't excerise and haven't been able to do that for many years because of my CFSi. Every time I tried I felt my body was breaking down not building up. It's no fun not being able to excercise if you are used to it, but I agree with MacKintosh. I believe you are helping your body by taking it easy, not pushing yourself.
"Odhilda" CFS, not able to work or study since 1993. Mekobalamin (B12) injections 10mg x12/month. Levothyroxine(T4). NAC 1000 mg. Started Doxycyklin 100mg 20/09-07. Roxithromycin. 20/11. Swedish is my first language.
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"Odhilda" CFS, not able to work or study since 1993. Mekobalamin (B12) injections 10mg x12/month. Levothyroxine(T4). NACi 500-850. Started Doxyi Sept-07. Started Roxi Nov-07 first Metroi-pulse March-08. Swedish is my first language.
Win, things will
Win,
things will improve...expect the unexpected & have all the toxin remedies at hand & take them until you start to feel better.
Blessings
CFIDSi/ME 25yrs, FMSi, IBSi, EBVi, Cpni, (insomnia - melatonini, GABA, tarazadone, triazolam, novocyclopine, allergy formula, 3 gm tryptophan), Natural HRT peri-M, NACi 2.5 gm, 6-07 Doxy 200 mg day pm, Azith 375 mg M/W/Fday, 1-3-08 5th pulse 1 X 375 mg 4day
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CFIDSi/ME 32 yrs, FMSi,
IBSi, EBVi, CMV, Cpni, H1, chronic insomnia, Lymes, HME, Natural HRT peri-M, NAC 3 gm, Full CAP 6-2-08, all supplementsi +Sea Kelp, Chitosan Pulse 16 1-4-09 1gm Flagyli/day-3 days