Bad writing Awards

Now for a little levity  This one is for Adventure writing

"The stifling atmosphere inside the Pink Dolphin Bar in the upper Amazon Basin carried barely enough oxygen for a man to survive – humid and thick the air was and full of little flying bugs, making the simple act of breathing like trying to suck hot Campbell’s Bean with Bacon soup through a paper straw." — Greg Homer, Placerville, CA


Which do you like?

http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/2012win.html

Bean soup through a straw or breathing bugs? Sounds like summer in NE Ohio. Does the Pink Panther serve any Consolation Prizes?

MSmom

Laughing my head off! This site is hilarious Homina.

I like their tag-line "WWW means wretched writers welcome"

It's hard to pick a favourite they are all SO good. However I did love the winner:

As he told her that he loved her she gazed into his eyes, wondering, as she noted the infestation of eyelash mites, the tiny deodicids burrowing into his follicles to eat the greasy sebum therein, each female laying up to 25 eggs in a single follicle, causing inflammationi, whether the eyes are truly the windows of the soul; and, if so, his soul needed regrouting. — Cathy Bryant, Manchester, England

RRMSi diagnosed 1996. Many years of weird symptoms before this. Started CAPi around 6/11? Minoi 200mg daily, Roxyi 300mg daily, Tinii pulses started 11/11 (very tentatively!) Major problems with headaches 01/12, substitued mino with doxyi.&l

Hey, don't laugh at those mites!

http://bodyhorrors.wordpress.com/2011/04/18/houston-we-mite-have-a-problem/<

(I recommend the other entries on that blog, as well; they're excellent reads.)

As for bad writing contest entries, I like this one:

http://www.peterapplebome.com/Peter%20Applebome%20Bio.htm<

(Skip the bio at the top of the page and go down to "Bad Hemingway".)

Try this one

 

"She slinked through my door wearing a dress that looked like it had been painted on … not with good paint, like Behr or Sherwin-Williams, but with that watered-down stuff that bubbles up right away if you don’t prime the surface before you slap it on, and – just like that cheap paint – the dress needed two more coats to cover her." — Sue Fondrie, Appleton, WI

DAILY:  NACi 2400MG , DHEAi sublingual , vit D3 , multi vits,./ Three times  a week: B12 injections (Hydroxycobalamin). Deer antler./  Once every few months methyl B12 Methyl injections

Love it, Homina!

 

PPMSi-misdiagnosed 2001-diagnosed 2006. Probably caught cpni in birth canal but it didn't pass BBBi until my 40s. Minocycline 7 mos.- resulting bronchitis 5 months.Go to private m.d. out-of-plan. Wheldon CAPi 3/2/07 Stopped 12/12; resumed 12/13

Ah!  A contender for the Bulwer-Lytton competition!

That's really good "bad" prose.  I thought I was the only one on this site whose disease made them a contender for the prize.  I feel challenged. 

 

 

CAPi for M.S. 8/2007 - 3/2009.  Twentieth pulse metronidazolei + INHi completed 3/12/2009.  Intermittent treatment thereafter until 11/20/2009.  

Reminds me of the fine arts equivalent, MOPA (Museum of Poor Art):

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Museum-of-Poor-Art/185732899705?ref=ts<

HOOT!

RRMSi diagnosed 1996. Many years of weird symptoms before this. Started CAPi around 6/11? Minoi 200mg daily, Roxyi 300mg daily, Tinii pulses started 11/11 (very tentatively!) Major problems with headaches 01/12, substitued mino with doxyi.&l

It's time to laugh again

Here is one of the winners of the 2015 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

The doctors all agreed the inside of Charlie’s intestinal tract looked like some dark, dank subway system in a decaying inner city, blackened polyps hanging from every corner like tiny ticking terrorist time bombs, waiting to burst forth in cancerous activity; however, to Timmy the Tapeworm this was home.  — E. David Moulton, Summerville, SC       

Which do you like?

http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/2015win.html<

DAILY:  NACi 2400MG , DHEAi sublingual , vit D3 , multi vits,./ Three times  a week: B12 injections (Hydroxycobalamin). Deer antler./  Once every few months methyl B12 Methyl injections

How about this 'dishonorable mention?'

As Granny sewed another wolf pelt onto the bloody red cape, Little Red downed another shot, reminding herself that even alcohol had a better taste than the gastric acid of a wolf.

Rahul Kak, Ann Arbor, MI

Actually all the winners are a hoot!   Sarah

Completed Stratton/Wheldon regime for aggressive secondary progressive MSi in June 2007, after four years, three of which intermittent.   Still improving bit by bit and no relapses since finishing treatment.

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