Today is a day of remembrance for all of our fallen hero’s for this we bow our heads to pray.
As I started typing it hit me that I’m talking about my 20th pulse. WOW!
I closed day-1 with an unusual chip on my shoulder. By that I mean I had something to prove to our boys. At dinner we were talking about my walks that are on YouTube and the amount of people all across the globe watching them. Of course I’m excited but also very cautious at the same time. The boys were saying that they could do “moms walk” way faster than me. They gobbled down dinner, grabbed the stop watch and started this “game” I will tell you that this made me very agitated. I pushed the table out of the way and yelled “bring it!” 
I did my weekly walk on day 1 of my pulse and shocked the crap out of our boys---including Ken!!!! Ha! Less than 5 seconds!….. I now feel vindicated; however reassured that my walk times were actually fast for walking 25 ft. our boys decided that running it was way more fun!
The remainder of my week was somewhat of a rollercoaster of emotions. From attempting to plant some fall flowers outside on a small slope ending in tears, pissed pants and screaming profanity for all to hear. To long naps and spoon feeding my night vits because my hands became so numb I couldn’t even pick up a pill! How bad I felt that I could not even pucker my lips to kiss my sweetie. The die off must be HUGE this pulse.
Ken tells me that people out there think I’m faking this whole thing. Well, I’m here to tell you that anyone reading this that has not lived it, or cared for someone who is suffering the mental games we endure; the feeling or lack there of, has not lost bladder control, needs to let us here do what we do. We are giving the hopeless a chance to feel empowered knowing that this bump in the road is just that! And by the way, keep your two cents in your pocket, its not needed here. 
I know that yesterday is just that; behind me! I’m 2 days post pulse and I’m going to try to ride a bike tomorrow and keep trying to forge ahead.
Ciao, Kim
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RRMSii since 3/84; SPMS since 2/05. Rifampin, Azithromycin, Tindamax Flagylii Copaxone, Avonex, Novantrone, Provigil, 5gm NACi, 5gm VitC, 5000IU VitD3 & more. EDSS 5.5 to 6.5. Can't wa
Kim, I started my big
An Itinerary in Light and Shadow
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Kim, Thanks for sharing, I
Kim, Thanks for sharing, I enjoyed reading your blog post.
I've got to say that irritation is a great motivating emotion, really sparks the energy. I'd say that for years I used it to motivate myself to accomplish the mundane things in life, like getting enough energy to clean the house on top of working full time. I will take frustration and irritation anyday over hopelessness, which is where I was when I started CAPi. For myself I could make my body move but I had little energy to sustane the movement, so although I do not have the vantage point of neuroi-incapacitation I do understand severe limitations and no one would fake such situations and yet some very judgemental people call it laziness. May they never have the experience personally.
I admire your bravery to share your process so publically, it will be a boon to many. No one is paying you to act the part or post it on youtube!
Thank you and Ken for all that you contribute to this site and the advancement of CAP. Louise
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6-07WheldonCAP CPnBb FMSi-CFS20+yr, 11-07Cholestyramine HSPRNx7d-porphyrin+endotoxini
3-08Iodoral, 5-08BHRT, 8-08Same+Bs, 10-08D-10,000IU
2-09Intermit-CAPDoxi
RoxiClari,Tinii, 2-09LDN-CFS1-10-IT+Ursodiol300Bid+Lauricidin
I know where you are coming
I know where you are coming from Kim, don't you always need to pee when you are at the bottom of the garden? It's a psychological thing with me I think, well I used to think that anyway until I found out that I had MSi...and the sceptics about your walk on YouTube, if only they could have a day,an hour in our shoes!
However the small minded people out there won't change because it's not in their nature. But for those with open minds, empathy and compassion there is admiration for your courage in the face of a dreadful disease.We will have the last laugh in the end when we wear the big girls shoes again.
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Progressive MSi dx2006. LDNi & CAPi: Wheldon version. All supps. Doxyi 200mg. Zithi 250mg. Metroi 400mg.Pulses #30...I can because I think I can.
we march on & you are doing
we march on & you are doing just that Kim. I am proud of your efforts & achievement! Keep up the moppers!
I think most of us deal with the naysayers, I know the ME crowd here is all too familiar with that is "all in your head". Well, it is, but not the way the doubting Thomas' mean.
big hugs for you all.
grace & peace!
r
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CFIDSi/ME, FMSi, MCS, IBSi, EBVi, CMV, Cpni, H1, chronic insomnia, Lyme, HME, Babesia, Natural HRT-menopause, NAC 2.4 gm,Full CAP 6-2-07, all supplementsi+Sea Kelp,Iodorol, Inositol, Chitosan, L lysine Pulse#25 01-27-10 1gm Flagyli/day-5 days
Hi Kim! I'm loving your
Hi Kim! I'm loving your YouTube videos. You're spirit is incredible and really shows! What you're doing is very brave and might one day help so many others!
Wishing you more and more wellness,
Finch
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ME/CFSi since 1991. Cpni diagnosed 6/07. CAPi started 7/07. NACi 2400mg per day, doxycycline 100mg 2x per day, azithromyicin 250mg M-W-F. 8/09 switched from Flagyli to Tindamax 500mg 2x per day for 5-day pulse.